There's a baby in there!!

I can now feel the baby kicking. For a couple of weeks now I have been feeling flutters , but the last few nights they have started getting stronger. I am now able to put my hand on my belly and feel it too. Soon the baby should be consistent enough for Rourk and Ryan to feel it as well.

My anxiety is increasing and I am eager for Wednesday to get here. I tell myself not to worry, but that's the day I go for the level II ultrasound. I am mostly confident that everything is okay with the baby, but I can't help but think about the possiblity that they will find something wrong. How can I not think about it? I am 36, will be 37 when the baby is born and I already have a child with a genetic disorder. Oh, and it didn't help that my doctor pushed for me to have all kinds of tests done. I know she was doing her job, but I had to tell her several times that I wasn't doing the tests. I don't know her very well, but I can't help but get the feeling that she personally can't understand why I don't want them. Maybe some of you wonder the same thing. All I can really say is ignorance is bliss. To be honest, I don't even want a level II ultrasound, but the practical side of me knows that if this baby has a kidney problem or something else then it's best to know now so we can have a specialist on hand at delivery. That's the smart thing and what's best for the baby.

The upside of all this is that we will know if it's a boy or a girl and I can quit guessing or should I say obsessing. Rourk's office manager is getting into it now. Last week she took a thread with a needle on the end and draped it over my wrist and then moved it back and forth before pulling it up to see which way it moved...it says girl. Like I said the other day...the ring over my belly said boy. The Chinese gender chart says boy and the quizes on the internet usually say girl. It's a mystery that will more than likely be solved in a few more days. Watch, this baby will be stubborn and be in a position where they can't tell.

And the ultrasound pictures are from several weeks ago, but I wanted to post them because I am sure I will have new ones in a few days. This way you can compare. In the eight week picture the baby's head is to the top and the eight week his head is to the left. It's amazing the difference in two weeks. We actually had an ultrasound at 6 weeks (sorry no picture) and the baby looked like a peanut.