Blogging.

Blogging everyday is tough, but I am on the home stretch. October 31st is right around the corner. It's just seven more posts away.

I just wish I wasn't so tired right now. If I wasn't so tired I am sure I could think of an insightful post, but right now I don't have much. I haven't slept well the past two nights and the kids are wearing me out. My friend Anne is going it alone with her three kids because her husband is out of town, so I won't complain too much.

I have had trouble getting a dream that I had a few nights ago out of my head. I dreamed Lilly was in bed with us. I recall thinking in my dream that it was strange for her to be crawling all over us. The next thing I remember in real life is sitting straight up in bed and lunging forward to catch her because she's falling out of the bed. I said something like "Catch her she's falling." I said this loud enough that I woke Rourk. It's a strange feeling to bolt up like that only to realize it's a dream. I was relieved and bewildered by it.

I settled down, went back to sleep and Lilly returned to my dream. This time she was under Rourk and I woke up trying to pull her out from under him. I literally had my hands under him trying to get to her. I didn't go back to sleep after this. Oh, I might have slept a little, but I mostly just tossed and turned and watched the hours click off the clock.

Over the years I have had many reoccurring dreams. They come and go, but one in particular has plagued my sleep for 10, 15, maybe 20 years. It is simple to describe, but in my dream it goes on and on. Basically I am running along, usually in the woods. I come out of the woods to a river bank and there is no way to cross. Sometimes there is a bridge and it falls into the river just as I am about to approach it. There have even been a few times where I am already on the bridge and it begins to fall away. No surprise, but I always wake up before I enter the water.

That also reminds me of my desert dream. I am in the desert, walking along and the ground starts to dry-up around me and then it begins to crack. You've all seen a puddle in the summer when all the water has evaporated and the sun bakes it until the dirt starts to peel up and crack. That's what happens in my dream and I am trying to balance on these tiny slivers of land.

One more. This is very vague because thankfully I haven't had this dream in awhile, but I am always on stairs. Sometimes I am in a house with a grand staircase, dark paneled walls and plush, ornate carpets and sometimes it's a boring office building. Usually the dream follows the same path-- I am going up the stairs and when I look around I find myself standing on a maze of stairs. I can see where I want to go, but I can't get there because the stairs swing and shift direction. I often get to the top and there is no landing, just dark space. There is never a way down and I am left feeling stranded.

I have considered attending a dream analysis group that meets monthly at St. James. I know the facilitator and I bet I could learn a lot from her.

I also received a brochure in the mail the other day for a continuing education program about keeping a dream journal and using dreams as a therapeutic tool. Granted, I am not going into private practice anytime soon, but I can always practice on myself and a few unwitting friends. I don't know, it just sounds interesting and so many of the program brochures I get are about geriatrics and ADHD. Important topics no doubt, but I can only listen to so much of it. Sitting in a class for six hours about dream analysis sounds better than six hours on nursing home placement. Much better.