Sharing something wonderful...

Anne posted this to her blog this morning and I want to share it with you.

interpretations

I wanted to tell you, first of all, that I obtained Marcy’s permission to publish this entry. Please know that I would never publish something like this about another child unless his mother or father gave me permission to do so.

On Saturday morning Archie and I attended Lois’s massage and aromatherapy presentation. We had a great time visiting with Lois and the other mothers and children in attendance, and everyone who showed up learned something new and seemed to enjoy them selves.

Lois, who is a mother herself, was clever enough to bring along a DVD player and a Laurie Berkner CD to entertain the children. She uses this set-up during Archie’s massages to focus his attention and keep him still. Because of this Archie has had the opportunity to learn all the words to all the songs, and he is now able to mostly sing those words on beat and with gusto.

I watched Archie as he sat on the floor during the presentation, his legs spread out in front of him, his hands palms-down against the floor between his legs, rocking with the music, head thrown back and forth, back and forth with abandon. He does this often while listening to music, and it always makes me think that he is keeping time as if he were a human metronome. He sang along with the music, too, on Saturday morning, and held the notes while he tried his best to match the pitch.

While Archie was rocking and singing, Ryan was dancing. Ryan did exactly what Laurie Berkner instructed him to do; run in place, turn around, and clap your hands, and he did it with enthusiasm and without hesitation. He’d even sing along with the words every now and then, indicating his familiarity with the song and his infinite capacity to learn.

Ryan is exactly two weeks older than Archie, and the two have been classmates for as long as Archie’s attended the Meyer Center. Both boys have blue eyes, beautiful smiles, and blonde hair (although Archie’s hair is getting darker, as Ryan’s remains as sunny as a summer’s day). And both boys spend their days in happy homes with involved parents who want nothing more than for their boys, together and apart, to succeed.

But both boys, Ryan and Archie, are also very different. Unlike Archie, Ryan thankfully escaped many of the health issues common to babies with Down syndrome, and he has fortunately enjoyed four years of good health, marred here and there with common childhood illnesses and only a few health issues attributed to his extra chromosome. While Archie is definitively not a physically agile child, I believe Ryan’s physical prowess to be unmatched among his peers. This beautiful boy can leap tall buildings in a single bound, juggle a soccer ball better than any four-year-old I’ve ever watched do the same, and perform intricate fine motor tasks with impressive dexterity. Also, Ryan can share a hug with you that will knock your socks off. When that little boys squeezes your neck with all his might, he means it and you’ll feel his intentions all the way down to your bones.

The way the two boys interpreted the music Saturday morning, the way they choose to participate, was as different as they are. Archie choose to sit back, slowly ease into the music, find the rhythm and sing along. Ryan elected to jump right in, dance with all his might, and express his zest and zeal for life through his movements, happy smiles, gesticulations. Neither boy’s interpretation was better than the other’s. Both boys were true to their best selves in the way they choose to express their enthusiasm for the music.

What struck me about it all is… Well, it’s hard to say without explaining that Ryan and Archie’s teachers and therapists have always compared the boys, one to the other. I suppose they assume that because the boys are the same age, and both have the same diagnosis, that they must be comparable, one to the other. I find that odd, though, because to me Ryan and Archie are as different as they are the same. Every time one of those teachers or therapists draws a comparison I remind them that the boys are different, are their own selves after all.

The thing is that Ryan and Archie have endured, will endure, the same testing regime to determine classroom placement in elementary school, high school. I cannot predict where either boy will score on these tests, but I can tell you that I believe both Ryan and Archie have the same capacity for learning, have the same hope for their futures. They are bright boys, with shining eyes and happy hearts, and I know both boys will achieve more than we, their parents and friends, are able to predict today.

I guess what I don’t understand is how these tests can assess these two boys, who are so different yet so very much the same, and we, their parents and educators, will be asked to make decisions regarding their futures on the basis of those tests. I believe we all have our own individual strengths, you and I, Ryan and Archie. I can write, but I can’t add or subtract, multiply or divide, without the help of my fingers or a calculator. Ryan’s mother, Marcy, can manage people and problems with an enviable finesse. Does that mean one of us is better than the other, smarter than the other, more capable than the other? I don’t think so. So how can we refine these psychological and physical evaluations our babies are forced to endure to determine which path is best for them, for their future? How can we make them see that an Archie is just as good as a Ryan, that an Anne is just as good as a Marcy?

I wish I knew. Oh, how I really, really wish I knew.