John Mark Stallings

I received an e-mail this morning from the Down syndrome support group in Birmingham; the message shared that John Mark Stallings died a few days ago. My immediate thought was the John Mark that I know is too young to have died, maybe the person in the message is someone different. I searched the internet for an obituary for him and learned that indeed my John Mark had passed away on August 2nd. My thoughts drifted upstairs to Ryan sleeping soundly and my heart ached for Gene and Ruth Stallings because I felt pangs of grief as I thought about Ryan's mortality, but I know they don't compare to the grief Gene and Ruth are experiencing at this moment.

I talk about these people as if I know them, but I don't. The reason this family is dear to me is because they were the first ones to share the beauty and fulfillment that one can receive by having a child with Down syndrome. They did it through the book Gene Stallings wrote titled Another Season.

When Ryan was born we left St. Vincent's Hospital with a copy of Babies with Down Syndrome.
It's an okay book. I have recommended it to many parents as a practical guide to Down syndrome, but I personally don't like the book much. I believe parents should read Another Season, too.

I don't remember exactly when I read the book for the first time, but I am pretty sure it was within the first three months of Ryan's birth. It was definitely during a time when I was unsure about my feelings toward Down syndrome. It was when I was feeling lost and trying desperately to find a place for this diagnosis in my life. I was inspired and hopeful by what Gene had to say about the impact John Mark had made on him, his family, and everyone that had ever met John Mark for that matter. I was comforted by his words and thought-- This burly, manly, football guy has accepted his son, then surely I can. He's telling the world about John Mark; I can somehow manage to get through the day.

Another Season is on a shelf in Lilly's room. I think it is ironic that I saw it there just a few nights ago when I was sitting on the floor reading with her. That night was probably one of the first times I had thought about the book in years. I fondly picked it up, flipped through a few pages and then placed it back on the book shelf thinking I should keep it for awhile longer. Now I am thinking about reading it again, reading it this time to renew John Mark's spirit and to remind myself of his life and the difference it has made in me.

****************************

Gene Stallings, a star football player, championship coach and tough enough to be one of Bear Bryant's legendary Junction Boys, probably used to dream of a son who would be an impact player, who would change the world, make a difference and someday maybe — just maybe — wear a National Championship ring.

"I prayed to God that He would change Johnny, but He changed me," Coach Stallings once said in a speech. He added that if God offered him the choice of going back and having a "perfect" son without a disability or having Johnny, "I'd take Johnny every time."