What kind of mother am I?

You remember the other day when I told you that my children were upstairs running around naked with cereal bars? Well, this is how I found them when I went upstairs to retrieve them. They were in Ryan's bed and simply having the best time ever. Ryan even told me to leave the room and close the door when I came in to get them.

Later that afternoon when I went back to Ryan's room to straighten up and make the bed I found cereal bar ground into the carpet and the sheets. I chastised myself for letting them break the rules and grumbled as making the bed turned into changing the sheets, but then I stopped myself as I remembered the fun they were having together.

I think about this now because as I am typing this my two have the back door wide open (another broken rule) and they are standing at its threshold, leaning forward so their heads are outside and their feet are still in the kitchen and they are screaming, "Mommy, It's cold." You know why I am letting them do this other than the fact it is very entertaining? I am letting them do this because 10 minutes ago both of them asked to go outside to play and I told them it is too cold to play outside. To that Lilly looked at me and yelled, "Mommy. Outside. Now." Ryan looked at me, pointed to the sun and said, "It's okay Mommy, sun." I couldn't help but laugh and then told him that it is still cold despite the sun. In the time it has taken me to write this paragraph the screaming is over and the door is closed. Lilly and Ryan have moved into the den and are watching television. I believe they now understand that it is too cold to go outside. They understand it because they experienced the cold first hand.

I often ask myself "What kind of mother am I?" Am I too strict (yeah right), too lenient? Do I spend enough quality time with my kids? Do I work hard enough at getting them to eat green vegetables? Will my unconventional ways of teaching my children about the cold come back to haunt me one day? I even wonder how Ryan and Lilly will answer that question in 20 years. I don't obsess, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I question myself often. I guess for now only time will tell and I'll just have to take it day by day, even hour by hour and hope for the best.