The Kindness of Strangers.

We had strangers in the house today. Men on ladders hanging new windows and walking around with caulk guns and reciprocating saws. They were here all day and when Ryan got home from school he had to take a few minutes to supervise their work and tell them a thing or two about replacing windows. As I stood behind Ryan interpreting his words every now and again I couldn't help but wonder, "Do they know he has Down syndrome?"

This is a question that I pose to myself nearly everytime strangers meet Ryan. Do they recognize the tell tell signs of his diagnosis, or are they wondering while interacting with him, "What's wrong with this kid?" I have no doubt that they get that he is different. There's the speech delay, the physical features and yes, the strangeness. Today's strangeness was Dolly and measuring spoons. Ryan never goes far without having Dolly near his side and about a week ago he added white, plastic measuring spoons as a companion. He walks around with them, sometimes dangling them in front of his face and then other times Dolly dances with them. I admit it is a bit weird and hard to explain, definitely not something you see everyday.

A few years ago I naively thought that no one noticed Ryan's differences, but as he has gotten older the gap between his abilities and his peer's abilities has gotten wider and wider. I notice this even more as Lilly is beginning to catch up with him. Just the other day I was surprised by her ability to hold a conversation with me using sentences. Ryan's vocabulary is still much larger, but she can use what she does know so much better than he can and I feel sure she'll surpass him by the end of summer.

And the window guys had to notice that yellow rag doll and the white plastic measuring spoons. They would had to have been blind not to see them because while they were working on the outside placing new molding around the three windows in our den, Ryan had his face nearly plastered to the window from the inside with Dolly in one hand and the spoons in the other rattling the two together while he watched them work. They worked for nearly an hour in that spot and Ryan played with his spoons for even longer only taking a break to watch television for a brief moment.

I often find myself wanting to give an explanation for Ryan's behavior and have been known to work his diagnosis into a conversation if the opportunity presents itself. That seldom happens with strangers like the men installing our windows or the cable guy. I figure I'd end up looking like the weird-o so I keep my mouth shut. I also know in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter what they think of him. I am just glad they take the time to extend kindness to my son by letting him look at their hammers and flashlights and for going along with conversations they don't understand....for that I am thankful.