The other day I was asked, "Don't you think God only gives children with Down syndrome to special parents?" I was speaking before a local Rotary group so I wanted to answer honestly, because over the years people have told me that Rourk and I must be special to have been blessed with such an angel like Ryan. Comments like this one and others like it never sit well with me, but when strangers in the grocery store make them I usually just smile, make some off-handed comment and move along. Sure,I could tell them that Rourk and I are just like everyone else and that our son is definitely not an angel in hopes of dispelling some of the myths about Down syndrome, but people that say such things would just think I am a spoil-sport.
But there at the Rotary club I had a captured audience and an opportunity to set the record straight. This is basically what I said to them.
While I believe that Ryan is meant to be a part of our family and feel thankful to have him in our life I do not feel that Rourk and I were singled-out by God to have a child with Down syndrome because of our extraordinary parenting skills. We're just run of the mill parents, we get it right sometimes and we make plenty of mistakes, too.
So no, I don't think God blesses special parents with children with disabilities. We have all been out and seen a family situation that makes us feel uncomfortable for one reason or another because we perceive that the parents aren't doing a good job or we hear a news story of abuse and neglect and hope the state intervenes appropriately. These same things happen in families that have a special needs child, unfortunately I have seen it first hand. Children with special needs don't get a free ride simply because they have a disability.
I appreciate your question, and I could have answered it lightly, but since you asked I wanted to take the opportunity to share my opinion with you. It's easy in the limited amount of time we have today for me to paint a pretty picture of what it is like to have a child with Down syndrome but that's not always the case.
2 comments:
You and Rourk have extraordinary parenting skills because you try and care about your children.
You two are what I call a successful family because you're not perfect (no one is), but you dust yourself off and keep on your journey.
I'm proud of the Freeman family, you don't let a disability stand in the way of your success.
Ryan and Lilly are blessed with caring and concerned parents, and I know that they will go far in life.
Love you =)
You and Rourk are great parents, and Ryan & Lilly will go far in life, I know.
One day Ryan will look back and thank you for all that you have done and do for him.
And one day Lilly may face some battles with her peers about having a sibling with Down Syndrome. It's often that I have to intervene in a conversation between a couple Teens that happen to make fun of the Disabled kids that pass us in the school hallways. But she will always have me to talk to when those days come.
Hope you are doing well!
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