I know it has been been busy this summer, but even I was suprised when I realized how infrequent my posts have been this summer. One would think we haven't been up to much, but that isn't true. It's just the opposite. We decided to only send Ryan to the Meyer Center two days per week during the summer session. That was mostly because I wanted to spend more time with him and concentrate on potty training and having fun. That is exactly what we have done, but with two kids in the house and spending a great deal of time in the bathroom each day, there hasn't been much time for writing.
Oh, but I have missed it and I am motivated to get back in here. A few days ago I went to a site that a friend of mine keeps about her family and decided that if she can do it with three kids then I can do it with my two. Thanks Anne!! www.archiesroom.com
Lilly is sleeping. She is finally getting into a pattern of a morning nap and an afternoon nap. Up until about a month ago I couldn't tell when she might go down. Now at about 10 or 10:30 she starts yawning and rubbing her eyes and once I put her in her crib she is usually asleep in 5 or 10 minutes. She'll then sleep for about an hour or two. So, what is Lilly up to these days. I'd say about 18 pounds, but I am just guessing because she hasn't been to the doctor since May.
Here she is almost 9 months old and the only time she's been to the doctor is for her regular check-ups. She's been so healthy. She is also pulling into a sitting position on her own. She is commando crawling everywhere, and I mean all over the house. She can get over the step from the den into the kitchen and I find her everywhere. She loves to follow Ryan, but bless her heart, by the time she gets to him, he is usally off in another direction. She adores her big brother. Always wanting to crawl on him, be near him, look at him, play with him, annoy him. Yesterday I did laundry and I had a load on the couch. This was not smart on my part because I know that Ryan wouldn't let it be. Well, I am in the kitchen and I hear Lilly giggling and Ryan doing the same. Both of them are on the floor rolling around in the laundry. Lilly is keeping pace with Ryan pretty good these days. She's tough that's for sure. He was on her as much as she was on him. When I watch them play like this I can't help but smile and get the warm feeling all over me. Who cares that the laundry is all over the den. Childhood is fleeting, laundry is forever. Lilly is also eating very well. She hates baby food, pretty much did from the the start, but after visiting my family and enjoying some good ole southern cooking such as cornbread dressing, black-eyed peas and banana pudding, she has refused the jar and wants only table food. That's fine with me. So much easier.
I am sure most of you figured out from my dislike of pink and all things girly, that I never spent my days dreaming of a daughter. Nope, have always wanted boys. But oh, do I love my girl. She's just absolutely beautiful to me and I now I spend a great deal of time thinking about how to turn her into a beautiful woman. And not just beautiful on the outside, but on the inside too. Okay, so I know she is only 9 months old, but I am a firm believer that self-esteem and confidence and all those other positive attributes that we want in our children start now. I personally believe parents don't give these things enough thought in the beginning and then they wonder why their children are problems at 5 - 6 years old and sometimes even earlier. Admit it, we've all watched Oprah or Dr. Phill and listened to the horror stories and sat there judging the parents. I think we are all just a few steps away from making the same mistakes and need to give parenting serious thought. So, no, I don't have the answers, but I do think about it. I think about it a lot.
Ryan. My dear sweet boy is growing up. He entertains me. He understands humor and knows how to use it and will use it to his advantage. He does that most often when he gets in trouble for something, but I can't blame him. He has a great imagination. I am not sure why this suprises me so much. I have always remarked that he is a smart child, but I am blown away by his imagination. Two things stand out. First, Ryan's two best friends are Dolly and Bear. Dolly is a ragdoll that he has had since he was around a year old. She's worn out, been washed a million times, but he loves her and just about refuses to leave the house without her. Bear is a teddy bear and is just one little step under Dolly. He took them outside the other day and went running across the yard with them, dropped them half way so he could go play on the swing. He played for a few minutes and then I saw the idea when it struck him. It helped that he let out a little "OH" as he went running to Dolly and Bear. He brought them back to the swing and spent the next 10 minutes swinging Dolly and Bear. He'd say "Dolly. Swing. Wee." and then repeat this with Bear. He is all about the details too. He tried so hard to get both of them to sit in the swing with a straight back, but because they are so floppy this was impossible. When they would fall on the ground he would pick them up and dust them off saying "yucky." Oh, and before I move on to the second thing...just this morning he took Dolly and put her on his shoulders, held on to her hands, just like Rourk does when he puts Ryan on his shoulders. He then took her for a spin around the house. Laughing all the while.
The second story that vouches for Ryan's sense of imagination...Okay, let's just get this out of the way. We let Ryan watch TV and yes, he probably watches more than he should, but that's just life around here sometimes. He likes this show called "The Upside Down Show," and the two characters have a skit they perform called "action fingers." You know, they pretend their fingers can walk and do all kinds of other activities. Well, Ryan has his own action fingers. They slide down the couch, they talk to each other, they fall down and get back up. They can even talk to other people's action fingers at the dinner table. Often Rourk's action fingers and Ryan's action fingers entertain Lilly at dinner. It's great fun.
I don't know how many words Ryan has at this point. I guess it's in the hundreds, but his speech is significantly delayed. I have it written down somewhere, but maybe he's speaking on the same level as a two year old. But I continue to be amazed at how much communication takes place despite this. Yesterday I went outside with him and we were on the swings. We play this game where I am in the swing beside him. If I am just sitting there, he will look at me and say "mommy, your turn." That means that I should be swinging, not just sitting there. And I have figured out that "mommy, feet down." Means he wants me to stand up at the same time he stands up and then start swinging on the count of three or when he says "ready, set, go." I think about his speech delay, but then I don't. Does that make sense? I guess what I mean is I know the delay is there, but on a daily basis, when it is just us, I feel like our days are filled with words, and conversations and we get along just fine. I know what he wants when he comes up to me and says, "mommy, hand." He isn't saying "look, don't I have a nice hand" He's actually asking me to come with him. It isn't until we are away from home that I realize others can't be expected to understand all of this and need me to translate. And I find myself talking for him. I hate that, but I don't know what else to do, because "Mommy. Hand." probably sounds like "ommy and" to those that don't speak our language.
Ryan starts K-3 at Berea First Baptist on August 20th. He will go Monday and Tuesday and then the rest of the week he'll attend the Meyer Center. Ryan will be the first child in the kindergarten with a developmental delay---ever. I am freaking out. I am trying to control my anxiety and I am much better now, but a couple of weeks ago I reached my breaking point and ended up in the director's office in tears. Yes, calm, cool and controlled Marcy had to have a moment of vulnerability and maybe just a bit of insanity. I just felt so much pressure for Ryan to succeed and I have spent the better part of the summer concerned about how they will handle him when he doesn't want to do what he is told, or what they will do because he isn't potty trained or a million other things that have kept me awake at night. I know all parents have these concerns, and I may get some flack for this, but it is just different when you have a child with special needs. There's just a bit more weight on our shoulders. You don't have to agree, but I walk in those shoes every day, so I have the right to say such a thing. So, I have my cry with the director and while she and I are talking the light come on and I decided then and there that it would be okay. Now granted, okay may mean that in a month or so the teachers have to come to me and tell me that Ryan can't handle it, but it dawned on me that it won't be because he isn't smart enough or anything like that, it will be because he has a hard time keeping up with the structure of it all. I think I have know this all along, but they truly love Ryan there and it's the best place in the world for us to give this a try. I don't know what will happen. I know Ryan can try my patients, and he will try them too, but ultimatley the best decision will be made with Ryan in mind.
Potty training. I keep reading that potty training a child with Down syndrome is difficult. YES IT IS!!! That's really all I have to say about that for right now.
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