Little Sister

Thursday as I went to get Ryan off the school bus Lilly followed me to the front door. While I was helping Ryan maneuver the steps I looked over my shoulder to check on Lilly. She was standing at the door steadying herself by placing one hand on the glass. She was waving to no one in particular with the other. As soon as she saw Ryan a huge grin took over and she started bouncing on her feet in excitement. See, Lilly idolizes her big brother. When he's around she follows his every move with her eyes. When he leaves a room she takes off after him crawling as fast as her little legs will carry her. Then a couple of weeks ago she started following Ryan when he would go upstairs for bed. We have a gate at the foot of the stairs, so each night she would stand their clinging to the gate and crying as if her heart had been broken into a million tiny pieces. I am not exaggerating.

To relieve the heartbreak we've started including Lilly in Ryan's night time routine. Now at 7:45pm they scuttle up the stairs after each other. Ryan accommodates Lilly's inability to walk by crawling too. After we've completed all the necessary tasks: taking a bath, brushing their teeth, putting on their pajamas; we let them play together in Ryan's bed for a few minutes while we sit back in awe of them. It truly is awesome to watch your children play together. I never dreamed that doing so would bring me such pleasure and contentedness. I revel in the simplicity of their fun. They play chase, peek-a-boo and a game were they mimic each other's sounds. They do all this completely independent of us. It is as if we aren't in the room.

My hope is that Lilly will always idolize her big brother, but I am not that naive. It will not always be as easy being the little sister as it is right now. She will have days when it is down right hard having a brother with Down syndrome. I can say that because there are days when it is hard being the mother of a child with Down syndrome. There will come a day when relieving the heartbreak won't be as easy picking her up and letting her play in Ryan's bed. I can't say exactly what I am going to do that will instill the courage and confidence that she's going to need. Phrases like "being honest," "listening to what she has to say" and "letting her come into her own" come to mind. Maybe that's all there is to it. I pray it's just that easy.