I'm not smart enough to make this stuff up.

Ryan was sitting on the potty this afternoon just a few feet from where I was switching laundry from the washer to the dryer when I heard him say, "Wow, mommy. Ryan strong." I continued my task before stepping into the doorway to ask, "So, Ryan's strong, uh?" Ryan responded by saying, "Yeah, look mommy!" My gaze followed Ryan's pointed finger to see that he had peed on the floor and the stream extended a good four feet in front of him. I am not kidding... easily four feet.

Just like a man to be proud of such an extraordinary feat.

Ten minutes later....

I still hadn't changed out of the clothes I had worn to Rourk's office this morning so I decided to take the laundry basket upstairs and change into a pair of jeans. I left the kids in the kitchen eating a snack at the table. I swear I wasn't gone five minutes but in the time that it took for me to change clothes Lilly had disappeared from her spot at the table. I called for her and when I didn't get a response I asked Ryan about her whereabouts and he pointed toward the backdoor and told me that she went outside.

It was raining so I thought he must be wrong, but I took a quick second to look outside anyway. I didn't see her, but Ryan insisted that she had gone out so I opened the back door and sure enough I could hear her talking, but I could not see her. You know why? Because she was sitting down in the far corner of the flower bed digging a hole in the mud with a stick. All she had on was a pair socks, underwear and a t-shirt. The socks and underwear are still on the deck because they are covered in mud. I think they are probably destined for the trash. So much for being nomimated for Mother of the Year.